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buildings with a hundred floors,
spinning 'round revolving doors.
baby i don't know where they'll take me.

entries about chat links



breakaway
forgetting everything...
Saturday, November 6, 2010 // 11:32 PM

today was horrible. argh.
coaching and then piano. non-stop.
never been this tired. even though piano teacher smells really clean and nice ^^
it's worse than b4 yrlies..
sheesh.
right now i've been feeling not so good.
nearly cried like 3 times today about the smallest things.
i've never felt this way before...
i don't know what to think anymore.
all the stress is getting to me.
it's like i want to sleep and forget everything but at the same time i need to think about everything.
but that hurts and doesn't help at all.
i don't know what to do anymore.

30 Days, 30 Letters.
Day 1 - Your BestFriend.
Day 2 - Your Crush.
Day 3 - Your Parents.
Day 4 - Your Sibling. (Or Closest Relative.)
Day 5 - Your Dreams.
Day 6 - A Stranger.
Day 7 - Your Ex-Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Love/Crush
Day 8 - Your Favorite Internet Friend.
Day 9 - Someone You Wish You Could Meet.
Day 10 - Someone You Don't Talk Too As Much As You'd Like Too.
Day 11 - A Deceased Person You Wish You Could Talk Too.
Day 12 - The Person You Hate Most/Cause You Alot Of Pain.
Day 13 - Someone You Wish Could Forgive You.
Day 14 - Someone You've Drifted Away From.
Day 15 - The Person You Miss The Most.
Day 16 - Someone That's Not In Your State/Country.
Day 17 - Someone From Your Childhood.
Day 18 - The Person That You Wish You Could Be.
Day 19 - Someone That Pesters Your Mind. (Good Or Bad.)
Day 20 - The One That Broke Your Heart The Hardest.
Day 21 - Someone You Judged By Their First Impression.
Day 22 - Someone You Want Too Give A Second Chance Too.
Day 23 - The Last Person You Kissed.
Day 24 - The Person That Gave You Your Favortie Memory.
Day 25 - The Person You Know That Is Going Through The Worst Of Times.
Day 26 - The Last Person You Made A Pinky Promise Too.
Day 27 - The Friendliest Person You Knew For Only One Day.
Day 28 - Someone That Changed Your Life.
Day 29 - The Peson That You Want Too Tell Everything Too, But Too Afraid Too.
Day 30 - Your Reflection In The Mirror.

hum... asked me this about a month ago, it would have been easy.
i would have had said you straight away.
but now...talking to you is painful.
i want to close up now. curl in a ball until everything passes over.

That's all that there is. There's nothing we can do about this difference. Every day..I'm fighting against myself. I'm worried and it's painful ....I've used all my energy trying to suppress these feelings.....Here's the truth ....It's painful to be with you. Wanting to do this, wanting to do that.When i'm with you, I will continue wanting a dream that never come true. But i envy you. It doesn't matter what i do. But the me right now, is becoming more miserable.. If it stays like this, I won't have the courage to live on.. i can't see you ...anymore...

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